Empty

I feel so DEAD today.

I really hate this.

I've gone through this since childhood and I'm so fed up feeling this way. Everyday.

My heart is so vulnerable and so weak when it comes to my mom's nagging issues. She just don't know how much she's been stabbing my whole being with all those injurious words that's been coming out from her mouth. It's like, everytime she sees, hear or even smell something ugly that makes her mad, she's putting all the blame in ME. I know I'm not the perfect daughter and I know that I've done alot (as in alot) of things that can really trigger her temper to blow up. But, the problem with my mom is she doesn't know how to look into details before reacting. She refuses to listen to someone's explanation first before saying anything. She just go berserk all of a sudden.

I'm actually used to it already. I grew up to be my mom's"damping place" for her anger.

I love my mom. She's my life. But I wish that she knows how to take a breather sometimes. Take a break from the all those negative vibes that surround her and just live life without irritation. And I wish that one day, when she nags again, I will never hear my name from her again.Or, I hope that if ever she does mention my name again, its with care and proudness. Not with rage and bitterness lol.