Damn Bro!

The Title of this post is supposedly: "I'm sorry bro!"

At first I felt bad 'coz my brother told me last night to wake him up around 4 am today 'coz he had an early class - 7:30 am. I heard my alarm buzzed, but the sleepy me just got up and turn it off and then went back to sleep. I woke up at 5:30 again, when suddenly, out of no where, something or someone whispered to me. Telling me to "wake him up!". Then I remember what my brother told me last night. So I rushed up to his room, called out his name (as loud as I can), trying my best to get him out of his bed. 1,2,3 times I called out before he rose up. I went back to my room thinkin that he's preparing himself for school. After 30 minutes, I saw him infornt of his pc!!! What the?! I asked him why he's still not taking a bath and he said, "It's the first day of our class anyway... I'm sure the prof will not be there..." argggghhhhh!!!!

My effort was WASTED!!! I hate it when he do that!

Surgery Phobia?

Operations, surgery, major cuts, body organs, etc etc... eeek! it's the main reason why I don't want to be a doctor. Being a medtech is enough. Sure I can deal with blood. But no internal body involvement for me please! I'm a weakling when it comes to those areas. It's too much for me to handle. I feel the nausea when I see one. I just want to run away.

This morning, my mom asked me to help her with the cleansing of my aunt's stitches. What's a daughter like me got to do but to obey. Well, of course I too wanted to help, but when I was doing it, I feel like i'm gonna F-A-I-N-T! My hands were shaking to the point that I couldn't feel them anymore. It's like I was a magnet attracting the pain of my aunt into me. It was very nostalgic!

I'm just too afraid of patients/people having a critical condition. What if something happen to them in my watch and I couldn't do anything to save them... Y.Y

I can relate to the plot of the movie. I myself has my own seeking for the TRUE TREASURE. Lucky for me, I'm on the right path and beginning to understand what that hidden treasure is. I'm just happy to be able to find it. FINALLY!

Things that made me happy today

• 
• did a small act of humility for my mom by doing my duty as her daughter lol
• learned awhole lot of teachings today
• amiga ej's  kindness and her present for me 
• sharing the pulvoron I bought to the whole household hahaha.
• JUST BEING HAPPY...

i want....

this...

and this....

and him...

LOL!

Seeing my tita's situation yesterday at the hospital, I can't help but to feel sorry for myself. To be shameful because I cannot do anything to help her. I feel so useless... 

Watch the Lamb

I've seen this video last Friday at the bible seminar that I have attended.

Wow! No words can describe how much it affected me.... 

Toxic

I remember during my 3rd year in college, I was backing up a friend with her talent portion in this pageant at uni. We were dancing with "toxic" by britney. Surely it was an accurate timing 'coz those were the days where in we were all  soaked up by the busy life of being a medtech student. 

But right now, I'm being intoxicated by ♥THEM♥!

You're toxic, I'm slipping under
With a taste of poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic?

Last week and this week...

I was/am...

still busy going gaga over him :D

overloaded with typing job

plus,

spending a whole lot of fun times with my girlfriends..

(me, jack, elay @ gateway after watching "Knowing")

(amiga ej and I @ church)

Life really is uncertain...

Last year... Last month... you were in good shape... or so we thought... 

How dare those doctors tell us that you only have little time to live. How dare them to say that we should prepare ourselves for the worst thing to happen. 

I refuse to believe them..

I am still full of hope that you will get better. That I can still taste/eat every food you prepare for us. That you will still be able to accompany me when mom is not there. That you will be there by the time I get married or have children of my own and help me instill in them the good values you've taught us.

I am so sorry for that one time that I have been so stubborn and so proud of myself. I am really sorry for all the wrong things I did and bad/unpretty words I've said.  I wish I can turn back time and change all that. 

I can't do anything to help you. All I did was to cry. CRY. CRY. CRY.  If only I can grab those lumpy things inside you and put it into mine so you will not suffer. I will do that. You do not deserve it. Alot of peoeple still needs you. I need you.

Lord, please give me another chance to show how much I love her. To show how much I appreciate her in my life. Please let me have the chance to repay all the goodness she's done for me..... please lord, please! 

I don't know how I will be able to accept it...

All I know is that I am still not ready to let you go...

Note to self 2

Breath in. Breath out.

Breath in. Breath out.

Note to self

Dear Ruby,

Do you realize that you just made a one heck of a fool outta yourself on April fools day??....