Since it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I would like to share a story about this dreadful disease, because it has a detailed significance to my family.
I grew up with my grandmother in Cebu. I was close to her. I was even closer to her more than my mom. I remember everytime we go to Manila to visit my parents, I would always cry whenever she attempt to leave me at our house. And even my cousins were very jealous of me. Well I'm a lola's girl. What can I do?
Lola has always been my savior. She was the one who taught me the value of family. She was also the one who waken up my belief in God.
As a child I didn't knew then about this disease. I only knew that my lola has a mass on her left breast. It was thick and hard mass. I remember caressing it and asking her, "lola bakit may bukol 'yung dede mo? anong nangyari dyan?" and she would always explain to me that when she was a kid she fell from riding a carabao and her breast hit the ground.
Think about this. My lola got pregnant 11 times. Can you picture out that maybe, her kids (including my mom) during that time, have drunked up some cancer cells included in her colostrum when she does her breast feeding?
I cannot imagine how strong she had been in fighting this dreadful disease. Her courage was really impressive. I think she was the only person I know that never gave up on life despite her suffering from cancer. She never displayed so much pain to her family. She kept it to herself.
Or did she not felt the pain?
Well you see, my lola was a very religious person. She really stays true to her faith. She goes to church everyday. Even when she was close to dying. She never had gone thru chemo but she did took some anti-cancer medicine (take note: Chinese herbal medicines). But I think her faith in God helped her fight against the odds of this disease for years.
I don't really know how long my lola fought this ugly and unforgiving battle of cancer. All I know was that she struggled so much. But you know what? I never saw her cry because of this. Infact, when she was alive, she was always smiling to everyone. She was more helpful to everybody. She didn't think about her condition. As long as she can help someone, then she's happy and contented.
The most painful part (for me) was she died a month after my High School Graduation. I cannot forget that day. My aunt called. She told us that my lola was rushed to the hospital because she was very weak. Mommy and I visited her. She was already unconscious. In my mind, I thought lola was just sleeping and that she will wake up later on and she will get better.
But that didn't happen. She died after 2 days. She didn't even open her eyes to see us. The weird thing was, there was this calmness in her face. It was like, she was really just sleeping. I guess her angels really did took good care of her. Maybe God told her that it was time for her to have peace.
Her goodness was really incredible. All the people ( as in ALL) in her hometown went to her burial. It was like the whole world was mourning from her death. Everyone was in full respect to her even when she died. I can't forget this crazy homeless guy who was all covered with grease (taong grasa) who went to visit her remains during her obsequy in church. He was crying! unbelievable! It's like, he can't remember everything about himself, but he remembers how my grandmother used to bring him food everytime she goes to church. So amazing. Lola was a living proof that angels really do exist. And my grandmother was one heck of an angel.
Until now I'm still missing her so much. I still can't bear the fact that she's gone. It's really hard to go through her death. My heart is aching everytime I think about her. And I'm sure my mom feels the same. I still haven't payed the good things she did to me. I wish God still had given me more time to be with her. But I know that where ever she is now, she's full of joy. And I know that even if she is not around physically to protect her family, I know that she's just here, still guiding us to be in the right path.
Lola, if you can see me, I just wanna tell you that I love you. And I'm really missing you so much..
No comments:
Post a Comment