I wasted 3 years of my life...

and this is my drama..

Come to think of it...

The last 3 years of my life has gone down the drain. I lived those years for nothing. I was careless. So immature. I didn't thought of what my actions can become. And this caused me to be so down.

I was absolutely lost. I wandered from the dark within those years. Everything that I was through those years were just a stupid sham.

I did not lived my life the way I want it to be.

Apathetic. That can be the perfect description I can describe myself during those times. I totally had become stoical about everything. Parents. Family. Friends. School. ahhh... my main reason why I became cold about everything.

You see, I know I have no right to complain or grumble about this. And I am really grateful because I completed all the levels a person must take in his/her studies. But, in my case, this has become really a problem for me. My interest in life is far from being a Doctor. I never dreamed of becoming one. Infact it never crossed my mind.

I know what I can do. What my capabilities are. It's far-flung from being a life saver. And my Papa was the one who keep on pushing me to be inline with that path. Of course, as a daughter, I have no choice but to accept that. Even if it's against my will, I just have do it. After all, the one who requested it was the one who I owe my life to.

But I should've rebelled against what he wants. I should've fought for what I want. Because it provoked me to give up what interests me. To forget about my own strength and fascination in life. The truth is, I did not grow with my decision. I have become reliant with other people.

But, right now, after finishing college, all I want to do is to make it up to myself. I want to regain the old me back. The girl who was so naive and yet so full of dreams. Full of hope. The girl who lives not just for herself but also for the people around her. Family. Friends. I know they gave me the true pressures in life, but still they were the outright reason for my living.

I'm 24 years old. I hope it's not too late to...

Well, I know I have God at my side. And through his guidance I know I can become a better person...

and that's just what want to say for now...