i just did.
i am really really really sorry for myself. Because once again i disappointed ME. I am really really really sorry to God because once again I failed him. I broke my pledge to him. I am really really really sorry to my mom for showing her the bad side of me...I SCREWED UP YET AGAIN!
but i do not regret what i did to you, you BIG BIZNATCH!! not an inch! you deserve it!
i dare not try to hurt others.
so i thought....
but i'm done with all you're drama. i'm so fed up with all your cussing to my family. you're big mistake? imprecating death to my mom and my aunt is a BIG NO NO! do that to me but never ever ever ever to those 2 people i'd give my life to. so what if we share the same blood, same genes, same dna. right now, i don't give a damn!
It's human nature for people to act such a thing. I am human and I am weak. and this night is the most dysfunctional of all. I exploded. My anger dominated. I was out of myself. My eyes were blacken and I snapped! I said things that are very very hurtful (but true! so deal with it!). I used my hands to slap, tweak, hit and smacked her. I got so physical. i beat the hell out of her.
One thing good happened though, is that after my anguish, i felt good somehow. it's like this needle that has been pinned down in my chest for so long is finally out. There is this relief. and I am ok....
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