Thanks Mom!

I know I've said that I won't do this for the mean time but I'm kinda breaking my promise (AGAIN). Just this day please... let me release this undescriptive emotion I'm having right now...

To all the people who knows me, they've been a witness on how much I've struggled during my college days. I was so selfish that I saw it as a burden that led me to almost not finishing my course. I almost gave up. I was on the brink of not experiencing to wear that green and yellow velvety robe. Nearly depriving myself of not grasping the fluterry of walking down the aisle (not in church lol) while hearing that completion song which means you are ending another chapter of your life and entering the reality of being an adult.

I once said to my mom, "mommy, I don't want to continue it any longer. I can look for a job without a diploma." I know those words hurt my mom. I know those are words of disappointments. But you know what she replied to me? "even if it takes you 10 years in college, it's ok. No matter how much you fail, I don't care. As long as you still try your best to finish it. Wag kang susuko...." That's how much my mom loves me. And it hurts so bad because it was my carelessness that brought me to that situation. That's why even if I don't want to go on any further, I still manage to wrap up the failures of my so called student life.

And eventually, on November of 2007 I had the opportunity to let my mom and my whole family gather in one important occasion in my life. My GRADUATION.....

And today, I have no words on how much am grateful to God. It took me awhile to get hold of it but not anymore. Having my Transcript of records in my grip is the most rewarding feeling that I have ever felt in my entire life! Surely, my grades are not that remakable. But hey, I'm no Einstein lol...

I have never accomplish something that I can really be proud of. Until this afternoon when I saw my grade my reaction was....ARGGHHHH! I'M FEELING SO DAMN GOOD!! it was so freakingly awesome!!!!!!

No words can really explain what I'm feeling today.. happy, grateful, shock, ecstatic...I am in the state of euphoria...hahahaha... UNBELIEVABLE...

So to all you guys out there who are experiencing alot of troubles in your studies, my advice is that no matter how much it torments you, DO NOT GIVE UP! Do not quit in letting yourself fit in that tiny hole of the needle. Because once you break it, you will wow yourself in the end. Plus, always...I repeat... always listen to thy father and mother. They know what's best for you...

Trust me ;)

This time I'm uber serious!

I've been reading clinical chem for the past few hours and I just realized that the reason why I can't seem to syncronize my study habits or understand every word I'm reading is because, I've been chasing time (since day one of my review). The panicky me, felt like I am running out of it so I end up compressing my study schedule just to finish one subject. Which is a very very very wrong thing to do.

I know I bid farewell to my laptop before, but I kinda broken my oath lol. So starting tomorrow, NO MORE LAPTOP...NO MORE USING OF MY BROTHER's PC... NO MORE T.V... NO MORE CELLPHONE! hahaha.. IT's FOR REAL!!PROMISE!!! (please believe me... =P)

I will be back after March 4, 2009. I hope I can review everything (as in ALL of my subjets: hematology, blood bank, clinical chemistry, etc..etc.. oh hello!)  before that month comes. 

I'm going to miss blogging. I'm going to miss plurking lolz. But I have to do what's best. I have to make a choice or I might regret it afterwards.

If any one stumble to this gibberish online diary of mine, if you can, please add me to you prayers :P. I need alot of these to make this short (only a month to go before the BOARD EXAM... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! OMFG! now im being hystreical again) review thing of mine a success. And please pray that I may PASS it. I'd really appreciate it if anyone cares lol. SUPER THANKS!

So till then! 

Congratulations United States of America

"...people of poor nations,we pledge to work alongside;farms flourish and let clean waters flow;nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds..."

- a line from President Barack Obama’s Speech

According to...

..my horoscope for today,

Cancer

- Do not take much for granted. Your lucky numbers are 4 and 26. You will be able to get a move on but must not try top skip any too many details. You should have just a little more faith in yourself. Avoid toying with something electrical. Be objective.

*hahaha... I'll try. Really!... I WILL!!

Today's Advice from a Box..

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.

-colin L. powell

Embrace Your Curls

Before, I was pretty much very conscious about my own hair. I have this naturally thick brown wavy hair. Kinda like goldilocks kind of hair type. But as a kid, I am very much clueless on how to maintain a clean and neat look because at times my hair tend to be very buhaghag especially when the humidity outside isn't very pleasing. 

Growing up, I was very envious of those pretty girls who has this pretty hair. Long straight hair. And I've been longing to be like them. So one day, when my mom and I visited a friends salon, this idea just pop up in my mind and I asked my mom if I could have my hair get straightened. At first she and the owner of the salon didn't agree because for them I was too young (I was 12 or 13 haha) plus my mom is a big fan of "all natural beauty". But I was really furious in having a straight hair that in the end they got no choice but to say yes.

I was happy after that. Actually, the result was amazing. Because if you don't know me and when you see me for the first time you'll think that I have a natural straight hair. There's no tinge of a beauty parlor touch hahaha.

My aunt suggested that I go to this particular salon which gives the best straightening treatment. So I did and she was right. I was satisfied. So every after 6 months I always come by to that salon to have my hair get treated to avoid any visible curls.

But when college came, everything changed. I noticed that my hair started FALLING. At first I thought it was just normal for people to have falling hair. But it came to a point that the falling was severe. Infact I can make a bun out of it. The thinning of my hair was so severe that I almost got bald. Well people can't see it because it's covered by my long hair but of course I can easily feel my scalp when I touch it. That added to my frustrations. People started noticing and asking me questions like "d ba makapal buhok mo? ba't parang numinipis?" or when I go to the salon to have it treated the beautician is like "naglalagas ba buhok mo? ang daming nataanggal e." It felt very bad on my part. It was so embarassing.

So I decided not to let any salon touch my hair for 1 year. Then 2 years. The curl is coming out but I didn't care. It's time to treat my hair the respect it needs. Last year I decided that its time to trim it down. It's time to say bye bye to the traces of straight hair b'coz the curl is back. Funnily, last year was all about the curly trend. And I've wanted to curl my hair like those celebrities have. Coincidentally, when the salon guy (should I say gay) cut my hair, it resulted back to my normal hair again. But this time, I was more than happy than having a straight hair because, the curl I wanted manifested and people are like, "did you curl you hair? I want to have a curly hair like yours." ahahaha...

So for now, I am so contented with my long curly hair. And if ugly days come, wth, I don't care. Our hair is our crowning glory so good or bad days we should learn to respect and love it. I've learned my lessons, so no more na! hahaha.

Today's Advice from a Box..

"Never lose a chance of saying a kind word."

                                                                     

 - william makepeace thackeray

Today's Advice from a Box..

Mingle a little folly with your wisdom;
a little nonsense now and then is pleasant.

- horace

Miracles happen...

And this I count as one...

I was blabbering awhile ago about how much pain PMS brought me. It's so torturing I can't even walk. Infact, I was crawling in my room because I cannot endure it any more. Then I prayed the novena of the holy spirit. Actually it's my forth day now. I do this every morning before I start my day. But, I wasn't at myself while I was reading it. I am reading but I can't seem to put my heart into it because of the enormous pain I'm feeling. I try to meditate but I can't focus. But then, while I was reading and doing the prayers, I kinda notice that the pain is constantly drifting away. And when I finished there's no ache anymore! AS IN!! AS IN!!! wow!! it's really unbelievable. I am so having a joyous Monday because of this tiny miracle I got. THANK YOU DEAR JESUS!!!

I HATE PMS!

Why do u have have to come so early... huhuhu... it's not ur due yet... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I had a totally awesome night last night and u came now giving me sooooooo muuuuuuuuuuch P-A-I-N!!!!

ARGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!

working out is so much fun...

I took this foto right after working out lol. I was somehow feeling kinda sad today so I opened my fave imeem person's music. her compilation of rnb's and hiphop are the best! then when the music was on my body just started to move, then shake then drop hahahaha LMAO! I think it took me 2 hours before I get to realize that I should stop! Lol wut?!

What a good feeling when you detoxify yourself by releasing huge amount of sweat. It's like... halleluyah! lol.

Today's Advice from a Box..

IMPROVEMENT

begins

with

"I."

Funny..

I was having my moment of drama when I received a text from my amiga Rae.

it says...

To: You
From GOD
Date: TODAY
Subject: Yourself
Reference: Life

This is God. Today, I will be handling ALL of your problems for you. I do not need your help so have a nice day. I love you.

P.S.

And remember, if life happenes to deliver a situation that you can not handle, do not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) Box. All situations will be resolved, but in MY TIME, NOT YOURS.

Once the matter is placed in the box, do not hold on to it by worryng about it. Instead, focus on all wonderful things that are present in your life now.

And at the end of the message it says:

Should you have decided to send this to your friends, thank you. You may have touched thier lives in ways you'll never know.

(my answer)

To: Rae
From:  me
Date: TODAY
Subject: Thank you! 

You did touch my life today because of that message. I will always keep that in mind. I know God has always been there for me. I just realized it too late. And I do regret every wrongly things I've done in the past. That's why I'm really changing for the better. So am truly grateful for what you did. Thank you for sharing... love yah girlfriend!

when is the right time...

... I asked myself this question when I woke up this morning....

I can't seem to let myself doze off last night. I was just there laying on my bed looking at a blank, empty background. My mind seem to have a total control of me that I keep on thinking about the board exam even if I don't want to. It led me to having butterflies in my stomach. At that moment, I have mixed emotions. Am not really excited but nervous, uneasy, panicky, above all I was... scareeeeeeeeeeeed!

I try to close my eyes and not think about the matter but it kept on popping out somewhere. arggh! I am striving my best not to talk, speak, THINK, nor feel regarding it. I don't even want to blog about this. I just want to remain compose over the whole exam thing. 

But on the other hand, everything is so intense right now. To be honest, I am very much apprehensive in taking the exam. Half of my mind wants to. Half of my heart feels the same. However, half of both are saying "not yet". "You're not prepared"...

If not now, when will I be prepared?

I've wasted alot of time trying to run away from it already. I always try to reason out or find alot of excuses to give to my parents or anyone who is forcing me to take it. Like - "I'm not yet prepared (see?!)" or "Need to study more." blah blah blah. But the truth is, I am not trying to make an excuse for everyone else, I just realize now that I am trying to reason out for myself. I am shielding myself from taking it because I am too weak to face the issue. 

I guess we can't always escape fom everything. There will always be a time when we all have to face our selves and  battle our own fears which is so effin the hardest part to do. 

My mom told me the other day, "anak, try your very best to pass it..." how can I disappoint my mom again? I confess that my family is experiencing a huge turmoil right now. My mom, is the only one who sustains my energy for me to keep pressing on with the board exam. Even if I can't go on any longer I still try to squeeze out any strength or positivity in me just to not give up. And it really breaks my heart to see her  suffer and yet I can't do anything to help her.

So yeah I am in a state of calamity lol. It's hard to surpass it because I'm fighting for something that I don't know if I'm gonna win or not. But I'd still wann give it a go. Whatever happens the important thing is, this time I didn't back down from it. I know I only got one month to review everything. I'm not even sure if I can finish reviewing all the topics I needed to study. But there's one thing I'm sure of. This time I am not alone. I have God by my side and I know he'll guide me through this battle. 

AJA RUBY!!! AJA!

 

To do List

Here's what I've written last night in my To Do List.
"...... 30 minutes for blogging, plurking, etc. etc."
ahahaha.. shhhh it's more than 30 minutes and I'm still plurking. Talking to Elay. hahaha...

Today's Advice from a Box

I have this Paper packs I bought from papemel years years back. It has always been laying on my desk.....all covered up with dusts (aww lol). I have never really got to use it nor read any of its message. But last night, when I was about to go to sleep, I saw the box and it hit me... "Why not use the box for my daily reminder of what I can do to improve myself." so here I am posting my very first quote of the day. I think Imma call it... hmmm.. Today's Advice from a Box. Lol... So every day, I'm gonna shuffle these 3"x 3" card and pick one message and post it here.

Here's the first one.

"The only safe and sure way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend."

I'll face myself
To cross out what i’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what i’ve done

Things I love Thursday

I know that we are already at the mid part of the month. And here I am just starting my first TILT list for this year. Oh well, It's better late than never...

• Sunday Masses - It's been a long time since I set foot on churches. But I promised myself before 2008 ends and the start of 2009, I will give time to reflect and meditate my spirituality.

• Thursday Novena - at St. Jude Church. I want to be a devotee to him. 

• Review Days - MORE .MORE. MORE TIME!!! AJA ruby!

• Ea-ji and Cheese cakes - oh so yummy!

• Bonding time with my family - the best in the world.

• singsnap - you're making my dream of becoming a singer come true. Even if I know I don't deserve it hahaha.

• duet with Eli -gives joy to my heart.

• 2009 Calendar - thank you Kate!

• Food supplements - for keeping me healthy everyday.

• watching American Idol last night - hahaha. it made my night so lively. I was laughing like crazy b'coz I can relate to the funny one's lmao! 

• Ms. Galadarling - for introducing/sharing this amazing thing. THANK YOU. THANK YOU!

for a year of Peace and Gratitude...

When 2009 started, I have always wanted to buy that very cute yet inspiring calendar. Because I wanted to give order to my life this new year. And I know papemelrotti is the place to be. They produce alot of different selections made from earth-friendly paper products all made from recycled paper. Which means we don't just get to buy them and use it but we also can help save our planet. Awesome right? hehe.. The only problem is, I don't have the time to go to the mall and buy that calendar I wanted. But then! tenenenennen... ahahha... my friend Kate gave me one today as her belated x-mas present for me!! wooot! I was like.. whaaaaaaaaaat? ahahaha I am overfilled with glee. (So thank you girl!!!)

*sorry for my overstated reaction lol. I'm just a girl who can easily be happy over small things. =D

tomorrow

and yes. now I know what will my nephew will become in the near future ahahaha. what a darling. (was controling myself from cracking up... ahaha i don't wanna burst into laughter while singing hahaha)

Oh SNAP!

(caution: lower the tone of your speakers =D )

I'm singing?! Oh hell yeah I am! ahahahahahahahahahahhahahhhahahahha... geeeeeeeez! I am so possessed. LMAO! oh well I am in the moment of releasing everything out. every emotions. every gloomy days I'm having these past few days.  EVERYTHING. 

I apologize for not having a divalicious voice. I'm just like any other. A frustrated singer hahaha.

But just like the song says, what-you-see (and hear)-is-what-you-get. *if anyone can heed my vocals hahaha. =)) =)) =))

I'm really having a weird week lately. first my dreams. Now, my H.E.A.R.T. 

I dunno. But I'm having these awkward feeling when it beats. Like it pumps then it jumps one beat. Something like dug.dug.dug_dug (lol what?). Know what I mean?

tsk. so complicated.

My Wishes and Inspirations

Have a strong relationship with God almighty...

Oh please pray for me...thank you :)

A Change Is Gonna Come
As Performed Sam Cooke (1964)

I was born by the river in a little tent
And just like the river, I've been running ever since
It's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come

It's been too hard living, but I'm afraid to die
I don't know what's up there beyond the sky
It's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come

I go to the movie, and I go downtown
Somebody keep telling me "Don't hang around"
It's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come

Then I go to my brother and I say, "Brother, help me please"
But he winds up knocking me back down on my knees

There've been times that I've thought I couldn't last for long
But now I think I'm able to carry on
It's been a long time coming
But I know a change is gonna come

(* I think I've been out of focus for so long. So it's time to stop. Change is what I need. And the above will keep me motivated and keep me going to complete my goals for this year. )

Laugh trip

hey girl! how are you? i know this is probably pretty random, but i just wanted to stop by and say hi! I am just bored, and me and my little brother were just lookin around myspace, and he said he liked you.

Do you like young boys?

Are you into girls at all? :)

Do you have a messenger? Like yahoo, msn, or aim?

Hope you have time to talk, hope to talk to you soon!
KISSSS :)

- a letter I recieved from a girl in myspace

...this is the most obnoxious/retarded letter I have ever read.
errr... do I look like a child molester/lesbo. -.-"

P.S.
I don't have anything against gays or les. just wondering why she thought I'd go for a girl lol.

Fugly dreams

I think I have the most bizarre dreams in the entire universe.

Been having these strange moving pictures on my mind for a week now. It's sort of a nightmare. A bad dream actually. I'm not watching any horror movies lately but I don't really know why the heck these disgusting creatures/scenes are appearing on my moment of slumber.

Last night, I dreamt of my mom, buying me a cam (holga I think) then her friend appeared which started a commotion to where me and my mom was. then the other night, I dreamt that I was in a car with few other people in it that I don't know. There were 2 children with us and 2 vampires were chasing us 'coz they wanted to get their hands to those poor kids. Then 3 nights ago, I was seeing myself battling with alot of zombies (-.-"). Then 4 nights ago, my mom got angry with me b'coz I fell inlove with a guy which she opposes so much. And on that dream, I was running away with that guy. Nagtanan daw kami!! OMG! And my mom suffered with a heart attack because of what I did. I woke up almost teary eyed. I felt like it was so real. =((

WtF is the matter with my imagination? Is it stress? yeah I think so. Mmmhhmmm. That must be it. I'm going through alot of stress and pressures lately. I am not focused on important things that I need to prioritize. Like my review. I am having alot of hard time trying to review my subjects. I am in alot of panicking mode bcoz I feel like I have so little time to feed everything in my mind... huhuhu...

I'm so hooked!

started playing this the other night. and darn! can't stop myself waaaah! Rae this is all your fault!!

Random

• made Leche Flan today. didn't turn out quite right 'coz it kinda looked and taste like pandesal urgh..
• wondering how and why do I have this tiny lump on my left eyelid.
• been spending my time reading and reviewing hematology for the whole week now.
• talked to my ozgirlfriends: ej, elay, and rae... missin 'em so so much!
• errr... why d heck am I posting random things about love? is it bcoz feb/love month is coming?
• been feeling so down lately. PLEASE RUBY DON'T BE! YOU DON'T NEED THIS NOW!!
• i had been on 3 accidents. but the worst was when I slipped and almost fell off the stairs this afternoon. THANK GOD I didn't hurt myself.
• been making fun of my nephew and loves it when he cries and then hug me when I carry him. harharhar...
• ARGGH!! i am so bothered by the fact that the board exam is coming very very soon and I am here infront if the computer and typing nonsense stuff! can someone hit me with a bat?!
• shut up now ruby lol!

*sorry I just missed blogging and I am just letting my frustrations out.

I wonder..

...will I ever do this with my special someone?

•elay•: eka lalabas lang kmi ni robert
•elay•: magdadate under full moon
•elay•: 
eyecatcher_ruby: huwaw!
eyecatcher_ruby: ang tweet naman
•elay•: sa taas lang ng bahay
eyecatcher_ruby: inggit me! oks enjoy!!

*=/

younglove-less

ej_sicat: amft
ej_sicat: lahat ata mga kakilala ko
ej_sicat: mga bf's puro bata
ej_sicat: ate ko asawa bata
ej_sicat: kasing edad ko
ej_sicat: etong sis kong nurse asawa din bata
eyecatcher_ruby: except ako taena till now wala pa din  

discovered a very inspiring site. i have been absent with my blogging these days 'coz of some personal stuff but if ever I'm on this is the number one site I always go through.

http://youareremarkable.wordpress.com

"Today, I am feeling love and immense gratitude for those people who are challenging me in my Life. I know my love and gratitude will dissolve all negativity."

-Rhonda Byrne (the secret gratitude book)

aww man! i feel like going to club/partying/dancing this weekend -.- 

tooooooo bad I CAN"T!

I admit! i do... i do... i do... have a crush on TI!

argggh!!

my angelic-vampire(ish) nephew bit me! gah! it's still reddish and swollen.

for a little fella that he is (1 yr old), amazing how he can make it so prominent...

what a shame

This is what my day looks like when I can't focus myself on somethings (+ being sick for days: fever and and colds and coughing sux BIG TIME!).

Tsk. 2 weeks had gone by and I hadn't started any good reviews yet... 

SERIOUSLY!

even if i don't get to be a Flight Attendant (which I want soo BAD!), this will be enough... =/

“If you are bored with life, if you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things — you don’t have enough goals.”

— Lou Holtz

And I did wrote my fleet of fantastic goals & driving ambitions (according to galadarling) for 2009. I was kinda shocked. I didn't expect it to be too abundant... -sigh-

the sky lights up again...

WELCOME 2009!

sayonara
so long
adieu
adios
arrivederci
au revoir
auf wiedersehen
good-bye

PAALAM!

2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR YA'LL!